There was a funny video that made its rounds on the internet around 10 years ago, called ‘World’s Toughest Job’. In the video, a company listed a fake job called ‘Director of Operations’. They then proceeded to interview people for the position, and this is what is recorded in the video. The viewer is kept in the dark at the beginning of the video, but as the video progresses, you start to think that this job is quite unrealistic:
Working 135 to unlimited hours per week
Need to be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
No breaks
Will require constant bending/standing
Requires excellent negotiation skills
Requires experience or degrees in medicine, finance and the arts
No holidays, in fact workload to increase over Christmas etc
No time to sleep
Work required 365 days a year
All of this and more would be required for the role, and to top it off - the annual salary they were paying: $0!
You may have already guessed, but the job they were advertising for, was the role of ‘Mum’. I have heard many women say, ‘being a mum is the hardest job that I’ve ever done’. You only have to look at the list of requirements and responsibilities to know that the role of mother is not to be underestimated.
But sometimes in life, God uses the hardest things to bring forth the greatest blessings in our lives. And that’s how I feel about motherhood - hidden beneath the hard and difficult surface lie pools of blessings, just waiting to be unearthed. God leaves us gifts along the journey of parenthood, often not wrapped up in pretty bows and beautiful paper, but in the messy, ordinary and difficult things of life. God presents us with these gifts, but we have to learn to see what’s beneath the surface, to look deeper than the package it’s wrapped in and to identify the treasure hidden in earthen vessels.
THE GIFT OF DIFFICULTY
In her book, M is for Mama, Abbie Halberstadt coined the phrase ‘Hard is not the same thing as bad’. This really sums up our natural tendency as human beings to look upon difficulty, hardships and suffering as negative, bad, or something to be avoided. When something is difficult or hard, we view it automatically as disadvantageous - we want it to stop, to go away or to escape from it.
But the bible is clear that hard things, difficult times and setbacks can actually be advantageous to us as believers: -
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces [a]patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be [b]perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1v2-4)
3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces [b]perseverance; 4 and perseverance, [c]character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5v3-5)
The difficulties we face each day in motherhood are in fact gifts from God to bring us closer to him and to perfect us to the image of his son. When something challenges us, we must learn to embrace it for what it is - a chance to learn and grow. When you first start out as a mother, you have no idea what you are doing. Even the more basic aspects of motherhood seem daunting and overwhelming. But give yourself some time and look back, and you are amazed at how much you’ve grown as a parent and those things that seemed to be daunting and difficult at first, you now can do with ease. Allow the unique challenges that motherhood brings to us, to shape us and mould us into maturity as women and as Christians. Because ultimately, to become better parents, we must become more and more like Christ.
THE GIFT OF REFLECTION
One of the first things you realise after becoming a mother, is that your children are sponges - they watch, they listen, they learn and then…..THEY COPY! Nothing is more scary than suddenly realising that someone is watching your life, your every move, listening to everything you say and emulating exactly what you do. If you’re doing it, they want to do it too. Our children become our mirror - we see what they do, listen to what they say and then realise - that’s me! Whether that’s in a positive or a negative context sometimes this gives us insight into our own behaviour, our own attitudes and our own shortcomings. These might be things that were in our blind spots, things we didn’t recognise before - but become very clear to us when we see it in our children.
This is a blessing for us in an unexpected way, because as our children reflect back to us our own shortcomings, it gives us a chance to recognise them and get out hearts right with God, to put in order the things we need to change.
23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; 24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. 25 But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does. (James 1v23-25)
You soon realise that you are the example that your children are watching, following and emulating, and this alone should make us take stock of how we are living and what we are teaching them by the way we conduct ourselves. As Pastor has said for many years, “Your compromise will become your children’s standard.” Our example sets the tone for our children’s spirituality, and it would be difficult for them to rise above the level our example demonstrates to them.
THE GIFT OF DEPENDENCY
A very common phrase being said all over the internet these days is ‘mum guilt’. This is mostly used in the context of the pressures that women face in trying to balance a career or job outside of the home and also raise their children. They feel guilty to go to work and leave their children, but if they stay home when their child is sick, they feel guilty that they’re not at work. But this phrase is also used in the broader sense of the guilt that Mum’s feel in their day to day life by simply not being enough for their children. They didn’t play with their kids enough today, they lost their temper and yelled at their kids, they couldn’t afford to buy their child something new, they made a bad decision that endangered their child - the list goes on and on.
As mums, we feel this sense of guilt about not being enough for our children, because in all truth - we’re not. As sinners our imperfections and shortcomings do not vanish as soon as we become parents. We will let our kids down, we will make mistakes, we will make bad choices and decisions. But again, here is what makes this a good thing - it should drive us to God. To depend upon his strength, his wisdom and ultimately his power in protecting and intervening in our children’s lives.
15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathise with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4v15-16)
9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12v9-10)
Our children don't need to think we are perfect, and that we can meet all of their needs, instead they need us to acknowledge our weakness and to see us pursue God as the ultimate source of strength, joy and peace in our lives. There are things we don't know about our children, things in the future that we’re not aware of, but if we give our children to God in prayer, He is able to protect them and keep them in ways we cannot.
THE GIFT OF OPPORTUNITY
Being a parent is a big responsibility, but it’s also a profound opportunity. The opportunity to raise tiny little souls and bring them to the feet of Jesus can never be underestimated. Susanna Wesley, the well known mother of Charles and John Wesley was dubbed ‘the Mother of Methodism’. She never preached a sermon, published a book or founded a church but her two sons applied the example and teachings of their home life. She is quoted as saying: “For I desire nothing in this world so much as to have my children well instructed in the principles of religion, that they may walk in the narrow way which alone leads to happiness”.
God’s promise for us is that if we “Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22v6). We have an opportunity as parents, as mothers to surround our children with godliness, to impart to them the word of God and to lead them into their own experience and relationship with God. In many ways, the future of our city, our nation, our fellowship - depends on us. The future leaders of tomorrow are the children of today.
Growing our children in God is not something that just happens. If you wish to sow good habits and godliness into your children, it takes deliberate actions, not passiveness. As with a garden, you must plant, you must water and you must weed - and God will give the increase. Put in the good things of God, His Word, prayer, intimacy with God, church attendance and participation. You must then uproot and get rid of the weeds that will try to take hold like worldly influences from pop culture, pursuits or interests that will take them away from God, friends that are negative influences. If you have a garden bed and sow a seed every now and again, but don’t tend to it, the birds and the bugs will come, the weeds will take over and in the end no growth will take place. Raising Godly children takes time, effort and diligence and more than anything - God being involved in their lives through your prayers.
We just have to look at the life of Timothy, and the credit that was given to his mother and grandmother, for raising him in the ways of God. It is believed Timothy’s father was Greek and therefore an unbeliever, however the women in Timothy’s life made sure he was raised with godly influences and no doubt with a lot of prayer. You never know if you’re raising the next Timothy, the next Wayman Mitchell, the next Billy Graham. Our influence matters.
THE GIFT OF LOVE
There have been many stories recorded over time of the feats of parents in protecting and saving their children in moments of danger - the mum who had super-strength to lift a car off her baby, parents diving into water to save a drowning child, parents sacrificing themselves in order to save their children.
Just recently we heard the story of the mother at the Sydney Westfield shopping centre who after being stabbed, prioritised the life of her baby, to the detriment of her own.
God describes his love for us in a familial way. He describes himself as a Father and us as his children.
“I will be a Father to you,
And you shall be My sons and daughters,
Says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6v18)
One of the gifts that God gives to parents is the experience of the love between parent and child. The love and the bond is like no other and yet emulates the love that God has towards us as his children.
The Lord has appeared [a]of old to me, saying:
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. (Jeremiah 31v3)
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
God is love, and the things we feel towards our children, is how He feels towards us. He wants to bless us, to protect us, to comfort us, to rejoice over us. He has a hope and a future for us that we can’t even imagine - God is the perfect parent that we can never be - but we get to be called His.
What a blessing to know and experience this familial love, so that we may more greatly understand the love of Father God towards us.
THE GIFT OF REWARD
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. (Psalms 127v3-5)
The thing about God is that he is just. He rewards the righteous and the sinner according to their works. That means for every hard thing you’ve had to go through, every sleepless night, every nappy change, every snotty nose, every discipline moment, every confrontation, every time you did the right thing but the hard thing - God sees and God will reward.
Every effort we put into raising our children, is like chipping away at a sculpture. It takes repetitive actions, continual work, we can’t always see the final design but as time passes, a shape begins to take form and the sculpture is complete. It is then that the reward for our labour is realised. We look across at the sculpture and are proud of what we see. Our reward is what we have helped create, through slowly chipping away day by day.
That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth;
That our daughters may be as [a]pillars,
Sculptured in palace style; (Psalms 144v12)
This month is Mother’s Day and no doubt you will be blessed by your family with gifts as a reward for everything you’ve done and everything you are to them. But I also want you to think about the gifts that God himself has bestowed upon you as a mother and the privilege is it to raise God’s heritage. When the going gets tough, and the days seem long remember that although the gifts may not be wrapped up in beautiful bows, they are indeed pearls of great price.
Happy Mothers Day!
“ This job has been given to me to do. Therefore it is a gift. Therefore it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly if it is to be done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness”
-Elisabeth Elliot